Many of you remember my last entry. I wrote about how I was going through a dark night of the soul and questioning everything. And how I felt the withdrawal from the Lord’s presence.
I’m still going through it to this day, but it is getting better. Two nights ago, I prayed the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy with my friend from Albany, NY Connie. After I prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, I felt peace. A peace that I haven’t felt in a very long time.
In my room I was in ancient Israel. I was taken to the Crucifixion site of Christ. There was a crown of thorns on the ground. I knelt to pick the crown up but before I could, I saw Jesus coming before me carrying His cross.
He was all full of blood and He said “come help me take up my cross”. I had this vision twice that night. And Jesus said the same thing. “Come take up My cross”.
I realized after this dream what the Lord meant. Yes, I may be disabled I have a physical disability. But just because I have that, it doesn’t mean that It’s not the same as taking up the Cross of Christ.
The reason why Jesus spoke to me in this moment was because after the last message I tried running away which I shouldn’t do. I tried running away and blocking everything out.
I wasn’t really going through doubts. I just didn’t want to believe and just wanted to forget the whole thing. But then it turned into misery and agony deep inside me.
The devil got in and tried to attack me. Making me believe that these things I experienced never happened when I know that they did.
This dream was a wakeup call. It’s better for us to take up our cross in this life and serve God even if it leads to sadness. We should take the Cross in this life then to suffer a harsh judgment in the end of our lives.
Because at the end of the day the Lord will ask us? Did you take up your Cross? Did you do what I’ve called you to do? That’s what the Lord’s going to ask us.
Sometimes it’s very difficult to respond to the Lord’s call because the devil bestows ego and pride. And, makes us concerned about our self-will and then we become blind towards God.
Pray that I continue to try to take up my Cross as best I can. So, I don’t end up miserable in eternity. The Bible says those who take up their cross or gave his life, are those who will not lose it.
And that means eternal life and that’s what we need to think about here and now.
We have to think about eternity.
Thank you.
