Dear Readers
I know its been almost a month since I written anything. I've been reflecting alot on the messages that I have received last month from God the Father and the Blessed Mother. They were very powerful and alot to take in.
This past month I've been in deep prayer increasing my Rosary and my Chaplets of Devine Mercy to help me and the world prepare for what is coming.
Also, I have been praying for my friend Jacob Peabody that recently passed away. He drowned in the Ellis Haven pond and was only 23 years old. It was a devestating loss to me and my entire family. So, I have been offering up the Rosary for his soul and having Mass said for him.
When someone close to you dies it makes you think of your own death (when am I gon'na go). So I've been sitting by the Blessed Sacriment everyday in prayer if only for a little while.
When Jesus says "I will come like a thief in the night" some people consider that the Rapture but I consider that Jesus is saying that you can go at any time so be awake (and not sleeping) so Jesus can come get you and bring you to His Kingdom. All of us must make sure that we are living as close to God as much as we can.
I can tell you ever since my friend died...even though I have seen Jesus and have heard Jesus and have all these things that Jesus has given me it has made me think about death alot. I have lost a lot of friends probably 28 since my last count. Pretty much all of my friends have died from physical illness. But this death kind of struck me in a different way in that he was an able bodied kid and so young.
I'm trying to bring people close to God and bring people back to him and to Christs Blessed Mother. There were times when I've had doubts if I am going to make Heaven. But, even when I have this fear of death there is one thing than can solve this fear and bring me peace. It is sitting by the Blessed Sacriment and praying the Rosary.
When I pray the Rosary and pray the Chaplets I do it slowly. I medidate on each mystery of Jesus. I try not to say the Rosery too fast. I Meditate and I contemple each Mystery. Everytime I pray the Rosery I get an interrior vision of each Mystery I am on in Christs life. I also feel a wind...its almost like the breath of God. I feel like a cloud is coming over me and my body detatches from this world. I know it is the Angels and the Blessed Mothers Mantle, I lose track of time, this just goes to show me how powerful the Rosary is and that all the Angels and the Blessed Mother comes down when we are saying it.
And, this is what we must do to prepare our hearts for what is coming, to ease our fear. Sometimes I have so much fear and sadness before I say the Rosary. I approach the Blessed Sacriment, tell Jesus all my problems, all my struggles, and than I say the Rosary and all the sadness and sorrow goes away as if the Blessed Mother is taking it and bringing it to herself. Jesus wants us to offer up our struggles, tell him our sadness, and all these things. Jesus can take it, he wants us to just be focused on Him and not focused on the distractions of the world.
Going to confession is great going to the priest is great telling your sins is great its a great thing and I believe in the sacriment of confession. After our confession we need to talk to Jesus daily to help us with our struggles. We must also have a personnal relationship with Jesus Christ, not just through the Sacriments but also talking with him.
Jesus is a person, he died for us. He is God, but Jesus is gentle and merciful and is yearning for us to come to Him and talk to Him. He can take any sin and He is waiting for us every single day for us to offer up our struggles to Him. We need to say to Him, Jesus I need help! That is how the purification of the soul starts. That is how the sanctification of the soul starts.
This is what I have been doing this past month is trying to get close to Jesus and the Blessed Mother to help me with my struggles and its really paid off as it brought me interior peace about death, about going to the other side. It is the devil that wants us to be scared of death. God doesn't want us to be scared. When we have doubts about entering into the Kingdom or feeling not worthy or feeling like we are not going to make it to Heaven. Thats the devil putting fear into us.
The Blessed Mother and Jesus doesn't want us to have fear. When you pray the Rosary the Holy Spirit, the Blessed Mother, and the Saints will give you peace about such matters. I noticed that when I pray the Rosary I feel like I'm being taken up to Heaven almost. Through the Rosary we become closer to Jesus because we are meditating on the Gospel. The mysteries of his life. Which brings us closer to Jesus.
So that is why I have been silent this past month. I've not received any messages except personal ones. After the last public messages last month I was kind of distraut inside as those were the most powerful messages I have received in almost 10 years. Times are coming, yes! But, I realize that through the Rosary and by praying at the Blessed Sacriment...Jesus, Mary, and the Angles can erase all fear.
Remember fear is not from God. Fear can be from the devil, fear can make us have doubts, question ourselves, which sometimes leads to the dark path. So, my brothers and sisters when you have these questions of about where you stand with God...just talk to him and humble yourself. Tell Him the stuff your struggling with. He said to me "my child I love you because you are humbling yourself to me, offer up your struggles and I will help you".
Jesus is yearning to help us each day. His mercy is always open, it is never shut. Sometimes it is we who shut ourselves out and that is the most biggest sin of all when we shut ourselves out from Jesus. No sin is too big for Jesus or the Blessed Mother. It is only by humbling ourselves and talking to him and offering up our struggles that we will have peace in the world...and the burdon will become light. Through the Rosary and praying to Jesus every day we will have peace about great many things.
I have been depressed ever since I moved to my new place in Taunton because I do not have as many friends. My fiance has been in the hospital for almost 9 months and it is very lonely. But, the land is beautiful, its 90 acres, with fields and lakes and beautiful nature but I've become lonely and sad. Sometimes, I wish I was back at my old apartment with friends.
But I am here waiting for my fiance and I know I am here for a purpose because back in 2010 before I got my apartment in Canton Masachusetts the Lord said that I will return here because Civil War will Brake Out. When I was at my apartment I think I forgot some of the things the Lord told me. Not that I forgot but there were just some things I did not want to remember.
When I am depressed and when I am longing for company and when I'm lonely I express these feelings to God but also lately I've been offering up my loneliness to the souls in purgatory because how lonely they must feel. There are many things that we can do with our suffering and praying for the souls in purgatory is one of these things that we can do.
Thank You Brothers and Sisters
I will write again next month...
