My Struggle with Religious Life as a Visionary
by John Mariani
Dear Readers
The visions going on in me and with all the messaging...I had a calling to become a priest. But, because of my disability and me being disabled it is very hard for the seminary to accommodate disabled people.
My spiritual director is Father Gerry from the order called "The Missionaries of Christ Crucified". I applied to join the order. I got all the books, all the things that I needed to be there.
The Missionaries of Christ Crucified are people who live consecrated lives. They take their vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. And, try to live the life of Saint Francis of Assisi.
Everything is going good. The community was touched by my strong faith. But, the superior of the order found the website with my messages and became very concerned.
The superior said because you have this website we will not allow you to begin the formation process.
My spiritual director and I were very upset. They tried to say that I tried to do this under obedience but, I did not take any vows of obedience yet.
Their was one superior that said that the messages would make people lose their vocation. I was in tears when this was told to me. I withdrew from the order.
A few years later I joined the religious fraternity called "The Third Order Franciscan". The Third Order Franciscan are lay people. They do not take vows as a consecrated life. They take promises. A vow is more serious.
The promises are poverty, chastity and obedience. In March of 2019 I will make my confession officially as a Third Order Franciscan. I do the liturgy of the hours with the priest there.
My brothers and sisters I'm telling you this because I struggle to live my vocation everyday.
I need prayer so that I can live out the Franciscan way. I post things to teach all of you and try to guide you. But that guidance doesn't come from my thoughts but it is from the Holy Spirit. Which the teachings come from.
I myself am just a human being in which the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I need you to pray that I can live the Gospel way to the best of my ability.
Thank You, my brothers and sisters. I will be praying for you too. And, also pray for all priests and all Lay-Men and God will surely award you.
